How to Get the Most Out of Therapy: 8 Ways to Make Counselling More Effective

Starting therapy can feel like a big step. Many people begin counselling hoping to feel less anxious, more emotionally balanced, or better able to cope with difficult experiences — but it’s also common to wonder:

• “How do I make therapy work?”

• “What should I talk about in counselling?”

• “How can I get the most out of therapy?”

• “What if I don’t know what to say?”

These questions are completely normal.

Therapy can be a powerful space for self-understanding, emotional healing and personal growth, but like any supportive process, the way you engage with it can influence how helpful it feels over time.

According to the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), one of the most important factors in effective therapy is the quality of the therapeutic relationship. Feeling safe, heard and able to engage openly with the process matters.

As a BACP-accredited therapist offering online counselling across the UK, I often work with clients who are completely new to therapy and unsure what to expect. These practical tips can help you feel more confident, prepared and supported throughout the counselling process.

1. Think About Why You’re Seeking Therapy

You do not need to arrive at therapy with everything perfectly explained or fully understood.

But it can help to reflect on:

• what has been troubling you

• what feels difficult at the moment

• what you hope may improve

People seek counselling for many different reasons, including:

• anxiety

• depression or low mood

• grief and bereavement

• relationship difficulties

• stress and burnout

• trauma

• low self-esteem

• identity or sexuality concerns

• emotional overwhelm

Even a vague sense of “something doesn’t feel right” is enough of a starting point.

2. Be Honest in Therapy — Even When It Feels Difficult

Therapy works best when there is honesty and openness within the relationship.

That does not mean you need to reveal everything immediately or force yourself to discuss deeply painful experiences before you are ready. Trust often develops gradually.

But if you find yourself:

• holding things back

• avoiding certain topics

• saying what you think you “should” say

• worrying about being judged

…it can sometimes be helpful to talk about that directly in therapy too.

Qualified therapists are trained to work without judgment and to create a safe, confidential space for difficult conversations.

3. Understand the Type of Therapy You’re Receiving

There are many different types of counselling and psychotherapy, including:

• person-centred therapy

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)

• psychodynamic therapy

• integrative counselling

A therapist should explain how they work and what you can expect from sessions.

Professional guidance such as the BACP Ethical Framework emphasises the importance of transparency and informed consent in therapy.

You are allowed to ask questions such as:

• “How does this approach work?”

• “What might therapy involve?”

• “How often should sessions happen?”

• “What can counselling help with?”

Understanding the process can help therapy feel less intimidating and more collaborative.

4. Remember That Therapy Takes Time

Many people hope therapy will provide immediate relief, especially when emotions feel overwhelming.

Sometimes therapy can bring quick insight or emotional release. But meaningful psychological change often develops gradually over time.

There may be sessions where you feel:

• emotional

• reflective

• uncertain

• frustrated

• relieved

• exhausted

All of this can be part of the therapeutic process. Healing is rarely completely linear.

5. Reflect Between Therapy Sessions

The work of therapy does not only happen during the session itself.

Many people find it helpful to:

• reflect on conversations afterwards

• notice emotional patterns during the week

• journal thoughts or feelings

• pay attention to triggers or reactions

• practise coping strategies discussed in therapy

Even small moments of reflection can deepen self-awareness and help integrate what emerges during counselling.

6. Speak Up If Something Doesn’t Feel Right

Therapy is collaborative, not something that is “done” to you.

If something feels uncomfortable, confusing or unhelpful, it is okay to say so.

For example:

• the pace may feel too fast

• you may feel stuck

• certain topics may feel difficult to approach

• you may not fully understand something

Good therapists welcome respectful feedback and recognise that therapy works best when there is openness on both sides.

7. Don’t Judge Yourself for Finding Therapy Emotional

It is very common for people to:

• cry in therapy

• feel vulnerable afterwards

• feel emotionally tired

• leave sessions thinking deeply about things

This does not mean therapy is “going badly.”

Sometimes emotional discomfort reflects the reality of exploring experiences that may have been avoided, minimised or carried alone for a long time.

Therapy should still feel emotionally safe and supportive, but difficult feelings are often part of meaningful emotional work.

8. Be Patient and Compassionate With Yourself

Many people enter therapy carrying self-criticism, shame or unrealistic expectations about how quickly they “should” improve.

Progress in therapy is not about becoming perfect.

Often, therapy helps people:

• understand themselves more clearly

• respond to emotions differently

• develop healthier coping strategies

• improve relationships

• feel less alone

• reconnect with themselves emotionally

Small changes matter.

Showing up consistently, even when things feel difficult, is already an important step.

What Makes Therapy Effective?

Research across decades of psychotherapy consistently suggests that some of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes include:

• a safe therapeutic relationship

• trust and empathy

• consistency in sessions

• openness within the process

• feeling heard and understood

The relationship between therapist and client matters far more than having the “perfect” words.

If you’re still deciding whether therapy is right for you, you may find my article on how to know if you need therapy helpful: How Do I Know If I Need Therapy?

Online Counselling Across the UK

I’m a BACP-accredited therapist offering confidential online counselling across the UK.

Whether you’re considering therapy for anxiety, grief, relationship difficulties, low mood or simply feeling emotionally overwhelmed, counselling can provide a supportive and confidential space to explore what is happening at your own pace.

You do not need to have everything figured out before starting therapy. Sometimes simply beginning the conversation is enough.

Book Now