The Two Sides of Fame: Mental Health, Identity and Life in the Public Eye

Fame is something many people dream about. To be recognised for something you have created. To succeed in music, television, film, sport, business, writing or online. But the relationship between fame and mental health is complicated. Recognition and success can bring extraordinary opportunities, while life in the public eye can also create pressures that are difficult to understand until you experience them.

There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting that. Success can be exciting. Recognition can be validating. A public career can provide extraordinary experiences, financial security, creative freedom and the opportunity to do work that genuinely matters. But there is another side to being known.

Stephen Fry once made a fascinating observation about fame:

“Fame has this unusual property. It exists only in the mind of others.”

I think there is something important in that. Because the person experiencing fame is still, fundamentally, a person. They still have relationships. They still experience anxiety, rejection, grief, loneliness, insecurity, sexuality, family difficulties and periods when they have absolutely no idea what they are doing. The difference is that they may be experiencing those things while thousands, or sometimes millions, of other people have an opinion about who they are.

When being known changes how you are treated

Earlier in my career, I spent around ten years working in London and, through that work, came into contact with many people who lived in the public eye. Some were extremely well known. What struck me more than anything wasn't their fame. It was how ordinary our interactions often were.

There could sometimes be an understandable caution at first. Would they be recognised? Would someone behave differently because they knew who they were? Could they simply have a normal conversation without their public identity entering the room before they did?

Again and again, what stayed with me was the desire to be treated in exactly the same way as anybody else. Not as a celebrity. Not as somebody's favourite actor, musician, television personality or public figure. Just as themselves. That experience has stayed with me throughout my career.

Fame and Mental Health: Success Doesn't Remove Ordinary Human Problems

There can be a strange assumption that success should protect somebody from emotional difficulty. If you have money, opportunities, admiration or millions of followers, what could you possibly have to be unhappy about?

Of course, human beings don't work like that. The late American critic Rex Reed once said:

“I’ve never met a happy celebrity. Never.”

I wouldn't go that far. Being famous doesn't condemn somebody to unhappiness any more than being unknown guarantees happiness. But the quotation captures something about our tendency to confuse success with emotional wellbeing.

You can love your career and struggle with anxiety. You can be grateful for your success and sometimes resent what comes with it. You can enjoy recognition while desperately missing anonymity. You can perform in front of thousands of people and feel lonely afterwards. You can have millions of people interested in you while wondering how many people actually know you. Two apparently contradictory things can be true at the same time.

Wanting fame isn't necessarily the problem

I also think we should be careful about pathologising the desire to be famous. For some people, ambition and visibility are part of pursuing something they genuinely love.

An actor wants an audience. A musician wants people to hear their music. A writer wants people to read their books. A sportsperson may want to reach the highest level of their profession. A creator may want their work to reach millions of people. Recognition can be part of the dream.

The more interesting question may be what happens when recognition arrives, or when the pursuit of it begins to carry more emotional weight than expected. What if your sense of worth becomes tied to whether people are watching? What happens when success doesn't produce the feeling you imagined it would? What happens when attention disappears? And perhaps one of the most difficult questions of all:

Who are you when nobody is watching?

The public version of you and the private version

One of the challenges of living in the public eye can be the growing distance between your public identity and your private self. People may feel that they know you because they have watched you, listened to you, followed you or read about you.

But they know a version of you. That version might be completely authentic. It can still only ever represent part of a person.

Over time, maintaining that distinction can become complicated. Where does the professional persona end? Which parts of your life remain yours? Can you change your mind without it becoming a story? Can you have a bad day without somebody interpreting it? Can you make mistakes without those mistakes becoming permanently searchable? Can you trust that somebody likes you rather than what being close to you represents?

These are unusual pressures, but underneath them are very recognisable human needs: trust, belonging, privacy, connection and the freedom to be imperfect.

Relationships can become complicated too

Fame can affect intimate relationships in ways that aren't always obvious from the outside. Success may change financial circumstances, working patterns, friendships and power within a relationship. Partners can experience the public world very differently. There may be jealousy, insecurity or uncertainty about who can be trusted. Long periods away from home can put pressure on relationships. New opportunities can arrive alongside completely new social circles.

Dating can become complicated too. Does this person actually like me? Would they be interested if I weren't well known? Can I talk openly about this relationship? Who gets to decide what remains private? None of these questions necessarily has a simple answer.

When everyone has an opinion about you

Social media has added another dimension to fame. For previous generations of public figures, criticism might appear in tomorrow's newspaper. Today it can arrive directly on your phone. Thousands of strangers can comment on your appearance, relationships, work, sexuality, personality, family or behaviour within minutes.

Most of us aren't psychologically designed to process the opinions of that many people.

Positive attention can be powerful too. Praise, likes, followers and applause can feel wonderful. But if they gradually become the evidence we use to decide whether we are worthwhile, their absence can become equally powerful.

Counselling can offer somewhere to explore these experiences without deciding that fame itself is either wonderful or terrible. It can simply be complicated.

A confidential space where you don't have to perform

For somebody accustomed to being watched, interviewed, photographed, evaluated or expected to present a particular version of themselves, counselling can offer something very different.

A private conversation. There is no audience. There is no performance. You don't need to be entertaining, impressive, successful or interesting. You don't have to protect a brand.

You can talk about the parts of life that have absolutely nothing to do with being well known.

Or you can talk about fame itself. Both are welcome.

My approach as a BACP-accredited counsellor and psychotherapist is to meet the person rather than the public identity surrounding them. Confidentiality is important in every therapeutic relationship. For somebody whose personal life may attract public interest, the importance of feeling that a space is private and professionally boundaried can be particularly significant.

Counselling for people in the public eye

You don't need to have reached a crisis to consider counselling. You may simply want somewhere confidential to think. You might be dealing with anxiety, relationships, grief, identity, stress, burnout, loneliness, sexuality, life changes or the pressures surrounding your career. You might be adjusting to becoming well known. You might have been famous for years. You might be experiencing the loss of recognition or wondering what comes after a successful period of your career. Or fame may have absolutely nothing to do with why you want counselling. That is important too. Because sometimes the most valuable thing about a confidential therapeutic relationship is having one place where you don't have to be the person everybody else thinks they know. You can simply be you.

Confidential counselling online and in person

I offer confidential counselling and psychotherapy for adults throughout the UK through secure online video sessions and telephone counselling, as well as in-person counselling in Ashford, Kent.

I am a BACP-accredited counsellor and psychotherapist with extensive experience of working with people from many different backgrounds and circumstances.

If you are in the public eye, work within the entertainment or creative industries, have a high-profile career, or simply recognise something of yourself in this article, you are welcome to get in touch.

You can begin with a free 15-minute introductory phone or video call, or book an initial assessment directly.

Whatever brings you to counselling, you don't need to arrive with a polished version of the story.

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Written by Paul Madden MBACP (Accred) is a BACP Accredited Counsellor and Psychotherapist with around 20 years of experience supporting adults through anxiety, grief and bereavement, relationship difficulties, stress and burnout, men's mental health, sexual health concerns, life transitions and the emotional impact of health diagnoses. He offers online, telephone and in-person counselling in Ashford, Kent.

Learn more about Paul and his approach →